| General Relationship Discussion Although anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice. |
Today, 03:04 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Registered User ?Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 2
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Hi all ( sorry it's long)
My husband and I have been married for 8 months now. We were in a long distance relationship for 3 years and physically together for one year.
When he first came to be with me, I didn't have many friends but I was never anti-social. He on the over hand is anti social and doesn't like to meet new people ( but i didn't know how severe it was until a few months ago). He loved to spend every minute of the day together.
When we got married, I also happened to get a new job. There, i met new people that i wanted to hang out with. I wanted to finally have friends. When i wanted to have a double date with one of my guy friend and his girlfriend, he refused saying that he didn't want to be stuck somewhere for 2 hours and be miserable if he ended up not liking him. So, i then thought that i should hang out with my friends and he should try to make his own friends. Well he didn't like that saying that most of my friends are guys and he wouldn't feel comfortable. He also added that he didn't want to make friends, but just wanted to be together all the time.
I ended up making a friend with a girl, but when he met her he didn't like her saying that she gave him an attitude. He said that she would never be allowed in our house and that he doesn't want me to hang out with her.
Another thing is that i can't go anywhere with anyone because he will get upset. My sister invited me out to a club with some of our coworkers (we work together so i know them all, and they were all female). I started to refuse, fearing his wrath, but decided to go. I was gone for about three hours, and when i came back he was mad. Saying that i didn't tell him where i was going and exactly who i was going with.
I just feel like i'm being isolated, i feel like i'm suffocating, and i don't love him anymore. We argue alot. We tried to go to couseling, but as soon as she took my side for something he said that she wasn't a good one and that he didn't want to go back. When i tell him that i want a divorce, he gets really bad chest pains and gets headaches. That makes me feel bad, and i end up staying. However, i can't do this anymore. I don't like kissing him, and I dread having sex with him. I just don't know how to leave him with all of his health issues, I feel like he might end up going to the hospital because of this. I feel really stuck.
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Today, 03:09 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Registered User ?Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 10
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Quote: | Hi all ( sorry it's long)
My husband and I have been married for 8 months now. We were in a long distance relationship for 3 years and physically together for one year.
When he first came to be with me, I didn't have many friends but I was never anti-social. He on the over hand is anti social and doesn't like to meet new people ( but i didn't know how severe it was until a few months ago). He loved to spend every minute of the day together.
When we got married, I also happened to get a new job. There, i met new people that i wanted to hang out with. I wanted to finally have friends. When i wanted to have a double date with one of my guy friend and his girlfriend, he refused saying that he didn't want to be stuck somewhere for 2 hours and be miserable if he ended up not liking him. So, i then thought that i should hang out with my friends and he should try to make his own friends. Well he didn't like that saying that most of my friends are guys and he wouldn't feel comfortable. He also added that he didn't want to make friends, but just wanted to be together all the time.
I ended up making a friend with a girl, but when he met her he didn't like her saying that she gave him an attitude. He said that she would never be allowed in our house and that he doesn't want me to hang out with her.
Another thing is that i can't go anywhere with anyone because he will get upset. My sister invited me out to a club with some of our coworkers (we work together so i know them all, and they were all female). I started to refuse, fearing his wrath, but decided to go. I was gone for about three hours, and when i came back he was mad. Saying that i didn't tell him where i was going and exactly who i was going with.
I just feel like i'm being isolated, i feel like i'm suffocating, and i don't love him anymore. We argue alot. We tried to go to couseling, but as soon as she took my side for something he said that she wasn't a good one and that he didn't want to go back. When i tell him that i want a divorce, he gets really bad chest pains and gets headaches. That makes me feel bad, and i end up staying. However, i can't do this anymore. I don't like kissing him, and I dread having sex with him. I just don't know how to leave him with all of his health issues, I feel like he might end up going to the hospital because of this. I feel really stuck. |
He is manipulating you to keep you in a marriage that is bad for you. He may not be aware that he is doing it, but he is. He is also controlling you and emotionally abusing you. You need to get counseling and see a lawyer, probably in that order. Put a plan together with the counselor and execute it. | |
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| Source: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/53500-dont-know-how-get-out-marriage.html
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